GRADUATES RESOURCES: TOOLS FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
TOOLS FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
1) Jar & Rocks
The rocks represented the damage in your life. Place the jar somewhere in the house that you pass by many times a day. When you have been hurt or you are upset with your spouse you place your rock in the jar to start the resolution process.
2) I feel ………Statements
When your spouse says or does something that hurts or upsets you then say: When you did/said _______ it made me feel ________.
3) What I heard you say…..Statements
By repeating what you heard your spouse say you are clarifying what you heard. “What I heard you say was…”
Make it a point to have two 15 minute dyad sessions a week. One dyad session to discuss everything that is working in the relationship. Another session to discuss any issues that may need to be addressed.
5) Safe Word or Phrase
Catch yourself when you fall into old bad habits. Having a “Safe Word or Phrase” is a non-invasive way of telling your partner that they are falling back into an old habit.
6) Love List
The Love List is a list of 5 small things your spouse can do on a weekly basis that will make you feel loved. Fulfill your spouse’s Love List weekly.
7) Needs & Desires
These are the 4 needs you desire the most in your relationship. Make an honest effort to meet your spouse's’ needs and desires on a regular basis.
8) Love Bank
Make daily deposits into your spouse’s love bank. If you make daily deposits into your spouse love bank you’ll have overdraft protection.
Take the time to acknowledge the things your spouse does. By giving your spouse acknowledgement you are building them up and your relationship up.
This is for YOU!
11) Love Language
Make an effort to fulfill your spouse's Love Language on a regular basis. Remember you need to know your spouses definition of their Love Language before you can fulfill it the way they need to receive it.